Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Dream Weavers

It dawned on me the other day that it has been months since I've seen any of my little friends wandering around my house, disposing of pests and bugs.  The last spider I remember removing from my home was Fred, my Bold Jumping Spider of two years ago.  I'm sure there might have been one or two since, but I really haven't seen a lot of spiders lately.  My house used to be crawling with the little buggers - and before you swear up and down to never set food in my house, remember that most of them are small, they rarely allow themselves to be seen by guests, and a few of them meet the fate of being a cat snack should my furry darlings get to them first.  Mostly they live under the front porch, in the back yard, and in my crawlspace.  They never bother me, they never bite, and we usually coexist peacefully with little drama.

I consider spiders to be good luck.  I fought against it for years, but I finally accepted the fact that they like me, I tend to attract them, and actually, they are my spirit animal.  Back when I still read medicine cards like Tarot cards, I always wished and prayed for something more glamorous like the wolf or the horse, but nine times out of ten I drew the spider.  Spiders symbolize feminine energy and creativity.  Contrary to popular belief they are not evil, nasty creatures that symbolize death and destruction with their venom and ability to suck creatures dry.  Spiders are patient and weavers of destiny and they can also alert one to one's darker side, to the negative aspects of their personality.

Sunday I spotted my first spider in more months than I can remember.  This pretty little guy was a Zebra Jumping Spider, a black fuzzy one with white stripes.  He was cleaning his fangs when I spotted him sitting on the glass of my kitchen window while I washed dishes.

It's always while washing dishes, isn't it, that I make eye contact with these little beasts?  First Fred and now Stripes.  Fred was cheekier though, feeling the need to hang out on my counter by the espresso machine as if waiting for me to offer him a cup.

I may come across as a nut, but I actually enjoy watching jumpers clean their fangs.  They resemble a cat washing her whiskers. Stripes ran his little front paws over his fangs several times, then lifted those two legs almost fastidiously while he twitched his fangs. He almost put me in mind of Sir Percival Blakeney from The Scarlet Pimpernel when he'd take a bit of snuff from the movie starring Anthony Andrews, Ian McKellen, and Jane Seymour Then he ran his fore paws over his fangs again for one last polish before he crawled across the glass.  I think Stripes is a male because he's pretty small and the females are larger. Jumpers don't weave webs, preferring to hunt and stalk their prey.  The window must have presented good eating because Stripes was still there the next day, marching back and forth across the glass.  I poked his behind to see if he'd jump but he wasn't interested.  He wandered down onto the windowsill and crawled into the groove where the window slides to open.  Bugs do like to collect there so I figure there's a regular smorgasbord going on for Stripes.  I left him alone there.  I mean if he doesn't feel like jumping, I'm not going to antagonize him.

I prefer to think of the appearance of Stripes as a good omen.  The last year has been so miserable and I've done a lot of work on changing my attitude and changing my life.  Perhaps the spiders disappeared for awhile because I've been such a miserable cow.  The cats and Tess have no choice, they're stuck with me.

I've developed some new habits like performing Pilates everyday (the cats love this because they like to join in), eating healthy, writing every day, and thinking positive thoughts.  Some days I have to force myself to lighten up and think thoughts of gratitude rather than dwell on negative thoughts.  Little by little I see positive changes and things I call small successes.  I've been offered several interviews to jobs I've applied for.  It always feels good to get an interview even if ultimately I don't get the job (and truth be told I would have turned those jobs down anyway).  I've been working on revisions for my novel and exchanging my writing with another author, sharing ideas and giving each other feedback.  I've taken some writing classes.  I cleaned out my closet and dumped unnecessary clutter.  I've moved some stocks around and renewed my driver's license.  I bought myself a tea set for my birthday which is something I've always wanted.  One doesn't have to conquer the world to feel good about oneself, but one should give oneself credit for accomplishing the small successes.  Writing, knitting, quilting are my creativity.  Weaving stories for the characters I create feeds my soul.  I'm tapping into my feminine energy as well, trying to surrender more to what makes me a woman rather than closing myself off with walls and a million different locks because I've been hurt in the past.  And if this past year taught me anything it's patience - patience for good things to happen and faith that they will; patience to work on myself and fix what's broken inside me; patience for the love of my life who has yet to show himself; and patience for others who are struggling just as hard, closed in darkness and maybe fearing never to see the light.

Stripes is a good omen, and I don't care what anyone's personal feelings about spiders are. I believe they are good luck. Rather than fearing them we should take a moment to listen to what they have to tell us.  They just might lead us down the path to our destinies.


Isn't he cute?

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