Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Dating Lessons

I decided in the spring to take Evan Marc Katz's advice and try online dating again, only this time, try it his way. My plan was to spend the summer having fun, dating everyone, and not worry too much about any of it until the fall, provided I actually found anyone interesting on these sites.  Three months isn't very long, but I did learn some things about those crazy animals we call men and what it takes to actually try and have a relationship with them.  Here are some of the things I learned:

1.  There is a difference between chemistry and biology, but you need one or the other at least or a relationship will never work.

Evan Marc Katz talks a lot about chemistry (as in that spark you feel for someone you are sexually/romantically attracted to), but I like to take it a little more in depth thanks to an episode of Parker Lewis Can't Lose (way back from the '90's).  They discuss chemistry AND biology, as in Parker Lewis (played by the adorable Corin Nemec) was debating who he should take to the dance; a larger awkward girl with an amazing personality, or a knockout blonde with a mean streak.  He said he had amazing chemistry with the larger girl and his friend observed "But not much biology."

I found this interesting.  Chemistry, I believe, is when two people gel mentally, emotionally, on all levels, and if they are lucky, physically too.  Biology is just physical.  It's easy enough to have biology with anyone who looks like Chris Evans, but it might be harder to develop biology with someone who looks like Woody Allen.  For me anyway, I don't always have chemistry with someone who looks like Chris Evans. I do think biology can develop from very strong chemistry. Usually chemistry doesn't form out of just strict biology, though.  I dated a hot firefighter for a whole summer once and he looked like Adonis.  We had nothing in common and he was a jackass. Sometimes the chemistry isn't strong enough to build a biological attraction.  Sometimes I wonder if two people have so much chemistry that they might actually be too much of the same person.  This summer I dated someone I had tons of biology with; I dated someone I had tons of chemistry with; I dated a good-looking, fun guy with a motorcycle, who I felt neither chemistry or biology with (I was running away from him physically by the fourth date); and I dated someone with whom I had a nice balance of both chemistry and biology. I guess the lesson here is to find that nice balance.  You don't want to date a great-looking moron who has nothing to say to you. You also don't want to date yourself.

2.  Evan Marc Katz is right - believe the negative, ignore the positive.

This one I find interesting.  Women tend to put up with a lot of crap just because a guy does a few sweet things, or looks good in a burlap bag, or gives the best orgasms in the world (this is a myth, by the way. Sorry, boys, but you can't give a woman an orgasm, she has to help it along on her own).  I have learned along the way that I may have chemistry and biology with someone, but if he's kind of a jackass, none of that matters. Once again, Adonis Firefighter comes to mind.  He was so beautiful I did put up with a lot of shit for a summer, but then when he left for Texas, told me he loved me and wanted me to come with, I said, sorry buddy, no way.  Also, the red flags are going to end up being deal breakers and all the chemistry and biology in the world aren't going to fix that.  I had crazy chemistry and biology with the Drug Dealing Felon, but in the end, well, he was a Drug Dealing Felon.  Sure we could talk all night, finish each other's sentences, read each other's minds, and feel each other's emotions, but I was always going to come second to his addictions.  Chemistry and biology alone do not a relationship make.  There has to be respect, kindness, and loyalty.  I think I could sooner deal with a nice, respectful, loyal guy with lots of biology, than a lot of chemistry but zero attraction, or lots of chemistry and biology but no compatibility.  Bottom line is, I'm no longer in my twenties. I no longer find jackasses and damaged alpha males with attitude problems attractive, and I don't care how many flowers he brings me.

3.  Texting does not create intimacy, no matter how many months and how often during the day one texts.

What is with these guys who just text and text and text and expect a relationship to spring out of that?  Cyber relationships seem to be all the rage.  I'm suspicious of anyone who just wants to text or Facebook little love notes all day long, but never actually wants to get together to meet or go on a date.  Three things go through my mind: What is he hiding, is he already in a relationship, and why does he have so much time to waste online.  Doesn't he have a job?

4.  Looks don't matter.  Neither does size.

I have had crazy attractions to some of the gawkiest, dorkiest looking guys one ever wants to see.  I was ass over teakettle in love with a guy who tattooed naked ladies all over his forearms, had gauged piercings in his ears, and nipple piercings.  I've experienced zero attraction to men who are considered extremely handsome (Brad Pitt does NOTHING for me), and have turned my nose up at the stud in the bar that all the women are drooling over.  Looks don't matter.  It's more about the pheromones.  Those can only be gauged in person, thus attraction can only be gauged in person.  You can't tell from a picture if you are going to be attracted to someone.  It doesn't matter how many cute, clever, fun emails he writes, how many long winded conversations about Star Wars you have, or how much his profile picture looks like Chris Hemsworth.  If you meet in person and he can't generate even an iota of attraction from you, then that relationship isn't going to work.  And on that note, size doesn't matter either.  I'm not a tall lady, so I don't have the struggles tall ladies do, but does it really matter if a guy is everything you wanted and more, but happens to be an inch shorter than you in Monolo Blahniks?  And for the record, I may be short but I've dated guys shorter than me.  I think short is cute.  I just feel like it's unfair to write a guy off for a physical attribute he has zero control over.  I don't want to be written off for wearing a size 32A bra, so I'm not going to write off a guy for his diminutive height.  And speaking of size, there is another size he can't control.  I'm no expert, but I have some experience with a few different sizes here.  If he knows how to use it, it doesn't matter really how big it is.

5.  And yet, it doesn't matter how not shallow one thinks they are, they are always a little shallow.

Even when looks don't matter, they do a little bit.  I'm not going to go so far as to say I'm not a little shallow as a certain gentleman suitor's six-pack abs about drove me over the edge, and that was just what I felt through his shirt.  I immediately became eager to learn more about what was going on underneath that shirt.  He turned bright red and told me to stop tickling him.  No, lacking a set of six-pack abs is not a deal breaker, but you know, I'm going to enjoy them while they are in my face.

6.  Some people are a slow burn.

I found that it takes a couple of dates sometimes for me to develop an attraction towards someone.  This is why I always give someone at least two dates unless he was a complete jackass on the first date and behaved disrespectfully or cruel.  If the person was kind, respectful, and fun I will go out with him again because everyone is nervous on a first date. After all, on a first date you don't really know the person. I went out with one guy three times before I realized that I really liked him, and by the fourth date I was pretty attracted to him.  If I had written him off after the first date because I wasn't quite feeling it yet, I would have missed out on getting to know someone pretty great. Ultimately that one didn't work out, but I don't regret the time I spent with him, and I had fun. I don't have a bad thing to say about him, but we just didn't quite fit.

7.  A guy will say anything to get you into bed.

If a guy really really really wants to sleep with you, he will do and say anything to make that happen, even lie about his true intentions or omit things.  It doesn't matter if you've been friends for years or if you thought you could trust him.  Sometimes that really is just a front and once he's gotten what he wants, he will most likely disappear.  Exercise caution before falling into bed with someone.

8.  Most of the time, getting involved with a friend will ruin the friendship.

I have gone down this road several times and I have lost several friends.  Mostly it's because they really just wanted to sleep with me under the guise of being a friend.  A true friend will stick around even after the fireworks are done.  I've had several guy friends proposition dating or friends with benefits during many a lonely stretch between girlfriends.  Among the ones I weakened and risked this with, only one is still my friend.  He's a true friend. Before getting involved with a friend, make sure you weigh the risks and make peace with the fact that you very well might lose this friend.

9.  Dating more than one person at a time divides your focus and keeps you from getting too obsessed over one person.

I've been a serial monogamist all my life, meaning I tend to start dating one guy, get completely wrapped up in him, and then fixate a little too much on him whether he's right for me or not.  That's when chemistry and biology can get confused with compatibility (Drug Dealing Felon, anyone?). When I finally learned to date several people at once, I didn't get so wrapped up in the chemistry with one guy that I couldn't focus on other guys.  There is something to that saying of don't make someone a priority who is only making you an option.  Spread it around a little, get to know a lot of people and decide what qualities you like or don't like.  It's a lot harder to get blinded by chemistry and biology with someone when you are seeing a few other someones that are fun and cute too.  This way one can make an informed decision about who they want to date exclusively.

10. Dating two people at a time that you like a lot is very complicated.

Unfortunately, for awhile I found myself equally attracted to and liking two guys for completely different reasons.  There was chemistry, there was biology, there were good times and fun to be had by all.  That just gets complicated then.  When you have one who is pulling ahead of the pack, it makes it easier if he asks for an exclusive commitment.  When you have another one who you like just as much, it's a lot harder to make the choice between the two, and no I don't believe that if either one was "the one" you wouldn't have to choose.  I don't think love, relationships, and dating are that simple.

Of course, I do have to point out here, that eventually one does pull ahead of the pack completely and the problem is usually solved.  Sometimes the rose-colored glasses come off for both and the problem is solved as well.

11. A positive attitude about dating really does draw men in.

Once I stopped hating men and feeling cynical, and just started having fun with the whole dating process without expecting anything, men were all over me.  At one point I had a date lined up every night, with a lunch date and a dinner date in the same day.  Men on the street and at the coffee shop responded differently to me.  I had one guy strike up a conversation at the coffee shop while I was writing, just to have a conversation.  I had another guy sit down at the piano at the coffee shop and ask me if I had any requests for him to play.  They were coming out of the woodwork, being friendly and nice, opening doors for me, striking up conversations, and metaphorically picking my handkerchiefs.

12. Scheduling a date every night for a week might be fun and exciting, but it's also exhausting.

Speaking of that, having a date every night of the week definitely opens one up to meeting a larger amount of people, and incidentally removes the need for grocery shopping that week.  However, it can also be exhausting for someone who identifies as an empathic introvert.

13. You are never more popular with the gentlemen than when several of them are vying for your attention.

Good, decent guys don't get crazy stupid jealous, but I have noticed when I have other options they all sort of try a little harder.  Of course, I've also noticed that as soon as I show a decent level of interest they seem to lose it and move on to the next chase.  That didn't happen so much this summer as in the past. But I will say, I have several stuffed animals, and I've gotten several bouquets of flowers from my suitors.

14. Pay attention to what your pets think of a potential date.

My pets are a good barometer of character.  I don't rely on Puckett so much as she hates everyone.  Only special cases get on her good side, and then those people I know are legit.  But if Percy, Willow, and especially Tess get freaked out by anyone, or don't behave with any kind of friendliness, then I am immediately suspicious of that person.  Tess loves everyone and she's only ever growled at two people in her life. If she doesn't like someone there is probably a very good reason, and he is not someone I need to get involved with.

15. Just because someone is a fabulous human being doesn't mean they are a fabulous human being for you.

I dated one guy who is perfectly wonderful on paper.  He was good looking, sweet, had basic tastes.  He worked hard, played hard, he was kind and respectful and he believed in God. I had some fun on his motorcycle. I just couldn't get there.  There was no spark, no magic, no chemistry, no biology.  I couldn't figure out why whenever I was with him, but I'm here to tell you, if you kiss a guy and all you feel is a slight wave of revulsion, that is not a good sign.  If you have a date scheduled and you are not looking forward to it, even dreading it, and you don't even know why because you do sort of like him as a person, that is definitely not a good sign.  End it as quickly and painlessly as possible and move on.  It will never happen.

16. Don't talk so much.

As soon as you mention your date to people everyone has an opinion.  I am way guilty of this.  I talk way too much because when I'm excited over a guy, I tell my friends about him.  This is a mistake.  You gush a little too much, and your friends are planning your wedding.  As soon as you mention any little row or spat with said guy, he is suddenly a loser who is not good enough for you and you should dump him.  Take it from me (and I plan to take my own advice) keep it zipped.  You can talk to one or two very very trusted nonjudgmental friends, but the rest of them don't need to know unless you received a ring the night before. 

17. Don't listen to other people's opinions over your own gut.

This goes hand in hand with don't talk too much.  As soon as you are dating a guy or several guys, your best friend, your mother, your boss, your hairdresser all have an opinion of the relationship, the guy, and why is he wearing those painter pants?  He's too young or you slept with him too soon or he doesn't have a glamorous job or long distance relationships don't work.  I was seeing several guys in the beginning and had different friends on Team This Guy or Team That Guy.  At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what they think.  What do you think?  How do you feel about the guy and what deal breakers can you live with?

18. Evan is pretty awesome and knowledgeable, but he doesn't know everything.

Sometimes underdog relationships do work out, sometimes two people who seem to have the least in common end up being the most in love, and sometimes the concept of soul mates isn't completely dead. These are definitely not the norm and don't count on them, but they can and do happen. It's Evan's job to maximize women's chances in falling in love by helping them get out of their own way, but it is also Evan's job to make money off his blog, his products, and his Love U curriculum. Likewise Match.com wants you to find your perfect match, but in reality if you do, they lose money. Keep in mind that self help books on dating, bloggers on dating, and dating sites are first and foremost out for number one.  Sure they want to help you, but you are going to have to help yourself, too.  Evan's an expert, but even he's admitted to being wrong a few times.  Also I've used a lot of his tips and advice without shelling out a single cent and it's been helpful.  Use the advice that applies to you, ignore the white noise in the background, and don't completely discount your gut.

19. Don't ever lose sight of your dreams.  Dating is fun, but it's very easy to get wrapped up in finding someone that everything else takes a backseat.

It's been several months since I picked up my novel and I'm sort of behind on my freelance writing course.  Enough said.

20. As Blanche Devereaux from The Golden Girls pointed out, most dates are just for the stories.  However, when the right one comes along, he is almost never who you expected (or who your friends expected).

And have I found that right one yet?  Well, I'm taking my own advice and shutting the fuck up.  Stay tuned.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Blending Families

Just when I thought I had my pets figured out, the little beasts go and pull a fast one on me.

Not only do I own codependent pets, I apparently attract people who also own codependent pets.  My new friend has a German Shorthaired Pointer who's as embarrassing as Tess when it comes to getting attention and being spoiled.  She's probably a bit more spoiled than my dog as she is allowed to sleep on the bed and sit on the furniture, and I got the stink eye when she came to my house and learned that this is not acceptable.  She also gave me the stink eye when she realized she was spending most of the day outside with Tess who she tolerates but is not a huge fan of.  Meanwhile I spent all of HER time with her master and she was not pleased.

Basically Surina thinks she's a person. Tess does too, of course, but she lives with cats that humble her at every turn. Surina fit right in with the cats because they think they are people too.  Well, to be fair, my cats believe they are above people and thus get to sit on the furniture, eat whenever they please, and stink up the house with their bodily waste, all the time thinking that their shit don't stink.

Surina and Tess have both been only dogs most of their lives.  Tess has been an only dog longer only because she is older.  When they first met they did get into a scrap because each dog thought the other had the nerve to actually try to touch their respective person.  Surina is not allowed to get pets from me and Tess is not allowed to get pets from my friend.  A dog fight ensued which we managed to tear apart, though not without casualties.  My friend got bit by both dogs, accidentally since they weren't really caring where their teeth went.

After the initial fight everyone was fine, they just sort of avoided each other.  Both still wanted attention from both of us and both of them still didn't want the other dog to get attention from either of us.

It's like trying to blend a family of teenagers.  Each dog is used to being the center of the universe.  Now they have to share their orbit and they are not pleased.  As with teenagers there is usually no reason as to why they don't get along except that they are teenagers.  There is really no reason for Surina and Tess not to get along except that they are both dogs used to being the center of the universe.  Like teenagers, dogs think the world revolves around them.  Dogs get away with it easier because they are cute.

The two dogs met the first time at my friend's house which was good for Surina because she spent the rest of the weekend doing what she loves best - following my friend's flock of guineas around and doing her pointer thing.  Tess couldn't figure out what was wrong with Surina, and amused herself with chasing flies and wasps like she does at home.  Surina is a working dog and my friend got her so he could use her as a hunting dog.  Tess is a perpetual puppy.  In the right hands she could have been a working dog too - a drug sniffer or sheep herder or something. But I babied her and I didn't really have work like that for her to do, so she plays like an overgrown pup. Tess has never been interested in birds, livestock, rabbits, or anything really that most dogs like to chase.  She'll get interested in squirrels for maybe a nanosecond.  Following birds around doesn't appeal to her, though every once in awhile she would follow Surina around the property and try to mimic what she was doing.  My dog has a short attention span and a big nose, so she would soon get bored and wander off to sniff around elsewhere.  When birds are present, Surina is focused and she'll spend all day following birds around. 

Tess, of course, was a nervous wreck spending the weekend at my friend's house because she's a nervous wreck anywhere except in her yard with either me or the Cowboy present.  This past weekend my friend and Surina visited us, and this time Tess had the home front advantage.  Tess is used to spending all day outside on the porch watching the world go by.  Surina is used to being outside too, but she is not used to being outside all day without a doggie door to get inside.  She whined most of the weekend and kept giving us these looks like we were torturing her in the bowels of hell.  I think we were kind of hoping that by the end of the weekend Tess and Surina would be solid buds and that Surina would be fine out in the yard because she had Tess to keep her company. Instead they just kind of pretended like the other one didn't exist.  Surina sat facing the door, wanting to be where the people are, and Tess sat facing the yard like she usually does, as if she thought that if she ignores the other dog long enough she'll magically disappear .  They gelled a bit better when we took them for a walk together.  They got to run loose down by the river, sniff around, and swim in the water, but they still weren't acting like two dogs who intended to bond.  Of course, I'm also expecting too much from two dogs who have only met twice. I don't bond with someone after two meetings.  I'm sure if we give the dogs some time they'll eventually learn to like each other. No one is ripping anyone's face off, so that's a plus.

I was most interested in seeing how the cats would react to Surina.  I always tell people that Percy is not a problem.  He's super chill and he likes dogs.  Sure enough, as soon as Surina came into the house Percy was in her face wanting to introduce himself.  Surina is used to barn cats, but I don't think she was quite prepared for someone as forward as my little black beast.  He behaves like, "Hi. Let's be friends.  Want to be my friend? Hi. Hi. Come on, let's play. Let's be friends."

I also say that Puckett is not a problem either as she's not exactly chill, but she is confident and the queen bee so she lets every newcomer know pretty quickly what the situation is regarding her position in the hierarchy.  Willow is the problem because she is a spaz, and she freaks out over every little thing.

They both surprised me.  Willow came downstairs almost as soon as Surina came into the house on Friday and wanted to satisfy her curiosity.  I expected a fluffy tail and a cat three times her normal size, but while she looked slightly put out and annoyed, Willow didn't hiss or throw a fit and she didn't even rake a paw across Surina's nose when Surina sniffed her.  Willow is usually the height of drama and she doesn't like strange dogs, so I was really surprised.  The rest of the weekend she spent sleeping on Surina's dog bed, and while she wasn't thrilled whenever Surina got her nose too close, she never once hissed or attacked her.

Puckett also did not behave like her normal self.  We took Surina upstairs on Friday to put her outside with Tess, and she walked by my bed where Puckett was sleeping.  She moved her nose towards Puckett.  By then she probably thought, "Hey these cats are cool! They all want to be my friend!" Puckett bunched up and hissed, then shot me a look like I'd just betrayed her. 

It's like Willow became Puckett and Puckett became Willow.  Thank God I can always count on Percy to behave a certain way.  He might trip me when I'm trying to feed him, or try to knock me down the stairs, but I can always count on him.

I spent most of the rest of the weekend kissing Puckett's ass, trying to get her to forgive me.  I tell you, that cat owns all of us and she knows it.  Its like the end of the world if Puckett is mad.  Everyone tiptoes around her, gives her treats and extra snuggles. Once I even let her get away with sitting on my chest and kneading me with her claws. I was wearing my favorite sweatshirt. She even engaged in snuggle time with my friend, and I swear she did it on purpose to punish me because she gave me that smug look the entire time she was letting him cuddle her.  Of course I reacted exactly how she knew I would.  I accused her of being a traitor, then picked her up and whisked her away, telling my friend that she is "MY PUCKETT!" while he laughed and teased me about how she loves him more.

That cat is going to drive me to drink.

By Sunday night Puckett finally emerged from downstairs because she was hungry, and sat a distance away glowering at Surina like I'd let the devil into the house.  By the next morning she was sitting next to Surina while she ate her breakfast.  She was probably trying to drive the message home of, "Hey, new dog. This is my house and I'll let you stay here, but you'd better defer to me so I'm going to intimidate you while you eat."

Surina was not intimidated. That's going to annoy Puckett, and she will not stand down until she has conquered the newcomer.  Of course, by the time Puckett got used to Surina it was time for Surina to leave.

This all leads me to conclude that Puckett was not as horrified at the idea of a new dog in the house as she was at the idea that a new dog came into the house without her permission.  If she had been asked her opinion in the beginning she probably would have been okay. She was taken by surprise on Friday, peacefully minding her own business taking a nap, when suddenly a strange new creature came stampeding into the bedroom.  In Puckett's world, things do not change without her consent.

In the end, all's well that ends well. While Surina and Tess are not solid buds yet, they tolerate each other and at least they will go for walks together. Willow did not explode and burn down the house. Percy just wants everyone to play with him. Puckett is over her little moment of pissiness. I really didn't think it would take too long for her to regain her dignity and power. She was just taken by surprise. Everyone seems to be just fine and no one has to be rehomed. 

I'm just kidding of course. I think my friend and I would probably dissolve our friendship before either of us would consider rehoming a pet.

I'm kidding about that too.  I think.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Animal Medicine

It may sound hokey, but I do put some stock into animal medicine.  I actually have a deck of medicine cards and I sometimes read my cards or other people's cards, and I like to occasionally pull a daily card, just to see what's what in my life.  It works a little like Tarot, or even like reading one's daily devotionals which I also do.  Some may argue that I can't follow Bible teachings and read animal medicine cards, but I find comfort in spirituality, not religion.  I follow Jesus' teachings, and I believe that animals and Native American medicine have some place as well.  The Earth, after all, is our home in a vast universe, so how can it not have some kind of magic and lessons to teach?

My medicine cards have several different spreads I read based on certain specific or even general questions.  One spread is reading one's nine Totem Animals, and I've only done that for one other person.  I've never read my own totem, probably because they are to be read only once and maybe I'm a little nervous about what I might pull.  Also, I'm not exactly an experienced medicine card reader, so I want to make sure I know exactly what I'm doing before I go messing around with that kind of medicine.  The totem spread involves seven animals in each of the seven directions - east, west, north, south, above, below, and within - and the lessons they teach in those directions.  The other two animals are the ones that walk by a person's side at all times, their spirit guides. An interesting point about reading one's totem, or even finding their spirit animals, is to not let one's personal opinions get in the way of the spread.  My two favorite animals are horses and wolves, but neither one of them are my spirit guides. I fought for years against the Spider being one of my spirit animals because I didn't like spiders, but after I pulled the medicine card more than a few times during my own readings, to say nothing of the fact that they follow me around my house and I dream of them often, I finally accepted the Spider as one of my guides.  My other guide is the Fox.  Foxes, like spiders, have haunted me and followed me all my life.  The Spider symbolizes creativity and feminine energy.  The Fox symbolizes camouflage.  That may not make sense to people who know me, or think they know me, but Fox medicine makes complete sense to me and it's very appropriate.

The other day I read my Pathway Spread, mostly because I probably already know my path, I'm just afraid to get started on it and perhaps I want some reassurance.  The Pathway Spread consists of a past; present; future; the pattern or set of life lessons that is moving through your life; a challenge or lesson you have completed or learned; what's working for you; and what is working against you.

My path laid out like this:

Past - I pulled the Rabbit which symbolizes fear, and the lesson is to stop worrying about horrible things that might happen and stop "what-iffing."

Present - the Buffalo. The Buffalo is the energy of prayer and the lesson is that nothing is achieved without the aid of the Great Spirit or God.

Future - The Snake. I pulled the Snake upside down, which means it's a contrary card.  The Contrary Snake is a fear of change and the lesson is to glide beyond a place that has become safe and nonproductive.  Funny how that one keeps popping up in my life.

The pattern or set of life lessons moving through my life - The Eagle. The lesson is to look higher and follow your heart's desire.  Again, funny how that one keeps popping up.

A challenge that has been conquered or a lesson that has just been completed - The Hummingbird. The Hummingbird teaches a renewal of the magic of living.

What is working for me - The Antelope. I pulled the Contrary Antelope which is a signal that I am not listening and not acting on the will of the Great Spirit (or God).  Contrary Antelope could also be telling me that a decision to start is now necessary. Have the desire to do something, make a firm decision to take action, and then do it!  I'm not sure exactly if that's working for me, or I should be allowing the Antelope to work for me, but boy, is that ever the truth.

What is working against me - The Badger. The Badger symbolizes aggressiveness, something I do not have, in spades or otherwise.  The Badger is telling me that I am too meek and the lesson is to get angry in a creative way and declare that I'm not going to take it anymore.

Three of my daily cards in the last few days intrigued me as well.  The first one I pulled was the Raven.  The Raven symbolizes magic.  Raven tells me that magic is in the air and something special is about to happen. Boy, I sure do hope so.  The second card I pulled was the Contrary Lizard.  Lizard symbolizes dreaming, but in the contrary position it could mean a nightmare or simply be telling me to confront my fears and that I don't need to experience nightmarish events in my day-to-day life.  Contrary Lizard can also be teaching me to look to my imagination for new ideas when life becomes dull or boring.  Life is not always as it seems. I've already dabbled with that, thought I wonder about the nightmare thing, and I wasn't completely thrilled with the dream I had last night. It disturbed me. The third card I pulled was the Contrary Lynx.  Lynx symbolizes secrets, but in the contrary position could be telling me to shut my big fat mouth.  I think I liked that one the best, because I sure have been talking a lot, and I'm going to get myself into big trouble if I keep talking.

I've found all of my card readings in the last couple of weeks rather interesting because they all seem to be pointing in the same direction - a direction I am aware of even if I don't want to admit it, a direction that I know is coming even though I'm scared of it, and a direction that I'm going to have to acknowledge soon because the signs are becoming too persistent.

It's time to move on, in every sense of the phrase.

I use the book Medicine Cards, the revised, expanded edition by Jamie Sams and David Carson.

Cited - Sams, J., Carson, D. (1999). Medicine Cards. New York: St. Martin's Press.